So as we discussed in the "History of Relationships," why do we feel the need to "fit in" to this world. We can't say it's animalistic "herd mentality." The animals began stampeding for the same reason; they all run the same direction; they don't question anything--including each other. Whichever is the fastest or strongest leads and the rest simply follow. That is not now, nor has it ever been, "people." When the very first "herd of people" heard a scary noise outside one day, one person came up with a hammer, and the other came up with a nail, and together the people built shelter.
We may go with the herd at times, deciding it's easier to work with society, or rebel at times, refusing to submit who we are to "them," but both paths are a lie we tell ourselves to avoid one simple truth. Who you are and the choices you make, are all that truly matters.
Jobs can be replaced, homes can be rebuilt. We can steal, cheat and lie to take care of basic animalistic needs, if we ever had to do so. We, however, become the people we are based on our experiences with other people. I'll never forget the day I realized "psych" would be my life forever. My mother is a therapist, and I was going through nursing school. From day one I told everyone, I will pick any field but "psych." My childhood was a mess, my entire life felt analyzed and yet somehow completely misunderstood, and the thought of dealing with that amount of dysfunction in my career felt unbearable to me. I looked for passion in every other field, noting how my "ease with the elderly" made me great for a nursing home; my maternal instincts could help me shine with pediatrics; having four children gave me a lot of experience in life to go into OB.
But the day came for my first psych clinical. And with the common concerns of a nursing student, the staff reviews the patients on their floor, their diagnosis, and, based on their level of comfort, the student picks their patient to work with that day. Walking onto the floor, of course, you see the patients going about their day. On that day, in the middle of the common room, sat a 6-1/2ft 300lb man, watching the students walk in. When we learned his diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia, the students immediately shied away from "that one" but I was intrigued by the look in his eyes when we first walked in so I wanted to talk to him. It turned out, after speaking with him, that look in his eyes was mine. Analyzed thoroughly, yet somehow always misunderstood, the man just needed someone who knew how to listen, and I was home.
I struggle in life, when I settle for "what's expected out of me." With family, and roles that were handed down through expectations set for me, I could never find a way to truly thrive. However, when I stopped trying to "fit in" to the expectations the world mapped out for me, and started simply following the expectations I set for me, the world has become incapable of slowing "Me" down.
Now this doesn't mean, as people, we can walk around saying "I need what I need, I am who I am, and nothing else matters in the end" and think we could thrive that way. If that was the truth, you'd still be an animal, waiting for what ever natural catastrophe that's going to happen next, altering your reality. We couldn't, as people, come so far so fast, if that was true. The only reason we even "came to be" is because we realized we needed to stop "fitting in" and start "building more" if people were going to survive. And people used their separate strengths and weaknesses, together, to dominate the whole world.
The following blog will discuss my theory on the "History of Us" in the world.
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