I don't like change. I put a lot of time and energy into "the way I do things." My logic is personally developed and usually already "allotted" for compromise. And I am very "self-controlled." I know who I am. I know what I'm capable of, and what I'm not. I know my "limits," and I can make peace with the mistakes I know I will make. But I can't control you, and no matter how much I plan, I have no idea "what's out there" waiting for me each and every day.
"Coping Skills" are something we all have. Whether you acknowledge it or not, if you're alive and breathing, you've developed "coping skills" for life to make that continue to happen. Our coping skills are never the same. What works for you may have a completely different result for me. Some coping skills are healthier than others, but that does not change the fact that you have them. In some way you are using "your skills" to "cope" with "Life."
Finding "our place" in this world is hard enough on it's own. Anxiety is literally just your brain's "way" of telling "you" that "your uncomfortable." Well, the reality is simple here. You have two choices. Change your current environment; or find a way to "make yourself comfortable." When you can't change your environment, "coping skills" are simply the way you "make yourself comfortable."
I gave my children "fidget spinners" when they were young whenever I wanted to have a conversation with them. I gave them a "common knowledge three chance rule" to change my mind if I had already said "No" to something... in case their attempts to manipulate me "pushed me to my limit," and now I wanted to "give in" without losing the "balance of power" in my house. I set "boundaries" around the places in the house that are "mine," and not their "business" at all. I make rules, and I change them when I see the need to. I find time for myself that's all about me, and my desires, and what I "enjoy" about life. And I make time for them, and when I do, I put their needs and desires into consideration, because I have asked them to be a part of "my life" right now. But I can't "control" my children. I can guide them. Because of how the world works, I am older than them, and control the finances of our world, and legally "call the shots." But they are people, just like me, and even though "I know what's best for them... of course," they don't care. And we all live in "My House!"
This is how you need to treat your anxiety. What calms you when your stressed and forced to interact with the world? Think of everything you can here, and utilize "your skilled resources" to control what you've brought into your world. Know your limits and what you're able to compromise on without losing too much of yourself. Establish boundaries in your life when those limits have been reached. Change "what" and "when" as it works for your life. You set the course for your life, so ultimately you make the rules.
When alone or in your "comfort zones," be "incredibly you." Dance in your kitchen all alone singing in your broom to the song "everybody makes fun of you for liking." Disappear into the movies or books "you'll never admit you like." Be "free" when your with yourself to "feel" everything inside you openly. Curse the world and everything it's doing to you. Feel the pain your sacrifices have cost you, and grieve if you need to over that loss. Utilize whatever outlets you have that work for you to process through this pain.
But if "what your shooting for" in "Life" requires you to ultimately leave this comfort zone, then when you do, you have to put those needs and desires into consideration as well. That job you want has established something already. Those people you want to reach out to have feelings and thoughts of their own. But you are here, asking this moment, to now be a part of your life. You can't control the world. You can influence it based on your actions. There is current order to it and common mentality that you can utilize for common understanding, but you are the only one responsible here for "what's best for you."
You are bringing whatever is "creating anxiety" for you into your life, because you are not removing yourself from the environment, and you are experiencing "anxiety." Your world is like a "road trip" through "Life." Your experience depends on when and where you go; who you travel with; and what you bring with you along the way. You go places you enjoy being. You bring people you are comfortable "facing the journey" with. You choose activities that suit you and match the experience you are hoping to get. Then, when the journey gives you bumps along the way, you are more equip to "adapt" to them. Your trip becomes more about the experience, and less about exactly how you get there.
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